Poison.

Honestly sometimes I don't know what's going through my head. All these thoughts, feelings. Some I know are wrong, but sometimes things just feel right. Maybe Samuel is right, that I should try acting against my feelings sometime. Because I am sometimes too idealistic for my own good. I need a bit more realism. The world doesn't revolve around how I feel. Sam had always been like a dad to me, even though I had not known him for very long. He's the opposite of me, he approaches things with a very logical point of view, and as a result he always gives me pretty good advice. He's also always helping me out when I'm dirt broke, always the one to discuss crazy car ideas and girl stuff with. He's someone I really enjoy hanging out with, so I can say I am really glad to have him in my life. I really don't think I should be looking to be in a relationship anytime soon. Get back on my feet, get my life in order first. Make myself a better person before I start thinking about anything else.

But I know, the seeds of poison have already taken root in my mind.

They had been all along. Dormant. Waiting.

But my thoughts are feeding them now.

And I know that if I do not suppress them,

I will be making the same mistake I had been all my life.

And nothing beautiful can ever blossom,

out of the seeds of poison.