Days like this.

The days are getting better.

I find myself thinking less about you.

I find my happiness slowly returning to me.

I thought I was finally getting over you.

And then there are days like this.

Days like today,

I don't know what triggers them,

what causes them to come.

But days like today,

I find myself back to square one again.

I miss you so much it hurts.

Memories of days gone by return in all vividness.

I try to fight them, sometimes I win.

Usually, I don't.

I start to lose myself in my thoughts,

I start to detach myself from the people around me.

I try to smile and keep in conversation,

but I hardly manage anything past a smile or a casual remark.

But I'll keep smiling,

because I don't want anybody to think anything is wrong.

Because I don't want people to see how stupid in love I am with you.

Because I don't want to fall back in the same dark pit I am trying so hard to crawl out from.

But its fucking hard.

I never realised how hard it is to act happy.

It's days like this that I realise,

there's still not a day that goes by without me thinking about you.

It's days like this that I realise,

I'm still not over you.