Emo post

And since this started as an emo blog, what's an emo blog without an emo post!

So there is this girl, someone who I have taken a liking to since a couple of years back. I had told Jasmine before that if that girl was single, she would have been the only girl I would have bothered chasing after. Sadly, as my life's luck would have it, she is happily attached for more than 7 years.

She just feels like everything I've ever wanted. We enjoy many of the same hobbies, we share the same view on many things, and she's just an awesome, badass, strong-charactered, humorous ball of sunshine. She's someone I can be myself around, rattle off stupid things that cross my mind, do stupid things that I love to do, because she is very much like me, and she just has this awesome open mind about everything.

I find myself falling for her more everytime we spend time together, but I tell myself to keep my distance. Because I know where this will end up, and I do not wish to lose her as a friend. So I just content with being a good friend of hers, and wishing her all the best in her life.

Well, today I went to her house to cook together, and while walking the dog, she told me that she was getting a flat soon with her boyfriend. Well, I'm just a friend, I'm not supposed to feel anything about it. I mean, what did I expect? That's just what is going to happen sooner or later. Maybe I just had a glimmer of hope that they would have broken up. It's an evil and selfish thought, and I hate myself for feeling that way. So I guess I should be happy for her.

But right now, it doesn't feel very good at all.